Degree week 9

Issa Week 9 now. Just had my midsem break last week and spent the whole break with family at home. I brought all my works and did a little bit of revision. Ohh and also helped Abah with his clerk work. That sound not really holiday cuz I have so many work to do. Lol Currently, here I am writing on this blog at this hour. Alone. Just myself. Had a discussion just now and already finished some of my works. Need to do revision but am super sleepy right now. I cant believed I can survive degree life until today. Hamdanlillah. Only Allah SWT knows how many times I felt hopeless and give up. I have five weeks left till finale. Hopefully Allah SWT lead me and lend me a strength so that the feelings of give up is gone. All I want to do right now is finish everything that I start. Every time I want to give up and even there were once I cried in bed cuz stress with lots of work, I will remembered how happy my family when they knew I got an offer to pursue my study. Have faith Naddd :)

MDS vs Karisma vs Results

I got my result penerapan degree few days ago. It was very intense. Hamdanlillah for the good news. Cant believed that seketul nadhrah can finish her diploma and will be pursue her degree next month. Well behind all the tears and smile I hv a one story that I never tell anyone. 

Baby brotha

Issa been almost one month since my semester break start. This time I kinda happy a liltle bit about my relationship with my baby brotha. Dah makin rapat. Couldnt believe that he already grow up. He started to share what he feels, share little secret with me and best part is he can give his opinion when I need the most. Not just that I also had shared my secret with him. At the age of seventeen he can give his opinion in a good way though.

Orange

What are we? Panda + gorilla = happy ending? Or not? The question that I always ask to myself. We seems like lost contact but still we have whatsapp to talk. Am waiting for your random call and text somehow. Dont know who to be blame. 

Cikton and Mok

It was a night after our pre graduation. Watched movie title Dilan 1991. I went out with Ekin, Aten, Anis and Mok during the day and on the night we went out again after drop by three of them. Just having a small conversation in his car. Suddenly we saw Cikton's car. He parked beside us then Mok started his car engine and we went to cafe. In the car I decided to tell Cikton the truth about us. Mok asked me to told Cikton. Just the two of us and he will join me later. To be honest it was a night that full with tears and laugh. I cried. A lot. Told Cikton I have my own reason why I didnt tell him about us because we got so many heart to take care of. Honestly banyak hati aku dengan Mok kena jaga. We used to take care of people's heart and feelings until hati sendiri koyak rabak. Almost a year but issa okay. Dah biasa makan hati. Well the reality was Cikton was the last person that knew about us. I mean of course there were certain people yang tak tahu lagi about us and everything kantoi during the pre grad night. But Cikton is the person that very close to my heart and he also the last person yang tahu about us. Issa kinda awkward to tell him since I know he was not so close with Mok. 

Told Cikton that I dont feel like I am a good enough to be his best friend because I didnt tell him since we agreed that best friend will share everything. Am so touched the moment Cikton told me that that is my personal things and he doesnt hv right to intefere. He respect my privacy though. Plus he already knew and want to hear the truth from me. Not any one. At the end of our discussion am so glad that both of them are good and can get along because of me. Thank you Cikton and Mok. 

You found me

After so many years you came. After four years. I try my best to run away from you and suddenly you found me. I try my very best. Why you came? What do you want from me? I cant get my old life back since you left me so can I live my life happily? I create new account so that I can run away from you. Account lama tu banyak kenangan lama and it remind me of you. I dont want to miss you anymore although sometimes I do. Goshhh I type this while Youtube is playing Bila Rindu by Ruffedge *cry inside* You asked me if I run away and hide from you. Truth to be told YESSSSS I am running away and hiding from you. Sorry if this hurt you but that's the truth. The fact that you still remember my birthday broke my heart into pieces. 

Week 6 of Internship

Week 6. MashaAllah I cant believed it's already week 6 now. More than half journey. Soon I will going back to Palam. I miss Palam so much that I will count every single day when will my industry training finish. I do enjoy my time here and at the same time I miss Palam so much that it can ruin my mood sometime. Y'know thinking and worried about your loved one. Thinking about Palam, my classmates and my lecturers there. It feels at home whenever Im in Palam. In addition, it will be my last semester in Palam. I swear Im going to miss Palam so much when Im pursuing my degree this September, InshaAllah. People may say Palam is far away from town but Palam is very close to my heart. Yes it is located in country side but you cant never deny Palam is good in terms of peaceful. Every single day I will walk to class without hearing the noises of cars, bikes and lorries. 

Denial

Am Im in denial? I ask myself for thousands times since my internship start. Damnnnnn till I wrote on this blog my tears raining heavily. Never thought that I will feel this way and it's one of the worst feeling evahhhh. 

Internship

Week 4. I have another four weeks left until my internship session finish next month. This lab has been great so far. The people here are so friendly, cheerful, helpful in terms of always help us in understanding about Halal and chemistry since it is not our field, full of spirit with positive thinking, always encourge us to explore more about Halal industry and making an imporovement towards a better Halal industry in all aspect. One of the thing that I'm so blessed doing an internship in this great Halal Lab because I do feel like a home here. Either in office or at college. 

Moga-moga dapat supervisor yang baik and helpful. Itu antara salah satu doa yang aku panjatkan pada dia lewat solat solat ku sampai la pada pagi subuh sebelum lapor diri. Dan betul bila kita yakin pada Dia, semuanya dipermudahkan hinggalah saat aku sedang menaip ini pun. There's nothing I want unless a kind and great supervisor with people around me. Blessed. 

2019

Issa 2019. New year. Another one year older. There's a lot of things I want to achieve on this year. There's a lot I want to do that already in my bucket list. I want to do all those great things with my beloved one. Spread kindness and positive vibes to everyone. But I know I cant do all those things without His blessings. May He bless every single kind things that I do. InshaAllah. May each of things that happened in the last few years make me more stronger to face this new year. Issa a long journey to go. I wish I will never meet any toxic people again, but I know we cant run away from tosic people in our life. Although there are toxic people, they also taught me to be more sabar in life. So glad that He sent me those toxic people so that I can learn more in life, be more humble, never give up and never stop being kind to anyone. Such a great lesson from Him. Thanks Allah.