Dear Abang,
I am writing this while you're on your way to airport. It has been long since the last time I write in this blog. This time it full with emotion. I still blame myself until now though you convinced me it was not my mistake by choosing to be on the platform. Kinda felt like a selfish wife. I should be aware that you're on standby which means anytime you will be calling to sail. It should be me packing your stuff not you did it my yourself because it is my duty as your wife. Tonight it should be me that accompany you at the airport. It should be me the last person you hug before parted away.
Remember the last time you sailed before we married? It was me that sent you of the the gate. I still remembered clearly you wipe my tears and said "I pergi kerja nak cari duit untuk kita kahwin. Janganlah nangis. Tak lama pun 3 bulan je." But it not happened after we married. I still onboard. My flight will be on 18 nov 10am. Few hours after you fly. I try so hard finds a way to go back home earlier but faith says otherwise. Thus I do understand Allah really wants to teach me that I dont have a power in controlling time.
Ever since I reached KT then onboard, I cried every night thinking bout you and the serba salah that I felt because leaving you just to chase work. Everyday I will lepak belakang galley alone just to watch sunset. It feels calm by watching the waves and sometimes watching my catering crews fishing. The sorrow that I felt lead to voices inside my head asking to jump into the ocean so that I could meet you before you sailing. Now I realize to be able to working at sea, I need to be able to take care of my mental state.
Exactly two months after we married, we both have to part away for a moment because of work. I have nothing but only doa for my husbando. Two months feels like a years. Setiap hari I bangun the only thing I want is looking forward creating and cherish every moment with you. Paling penting appreciating you. Hari-hari I penuh dengan you. Cinta dan kasih yang you bagi tu menenangkan I. Hence I tak pernah berhenti doa untuk you even I dalam tren tengah layan mata nak tidur. Pernah satu malam I hugged you from back while you sleep. I doa panjang sangat untuk you while nangis secretly behind you till ada kesan nangis I on your tshirt without you realized it. I told Allah jangan ambil you because I cant live without you. Proof? Right now. I'm crying bila you sailing. I'm crying every night because I rindu my husbando.
One week before I onboard, we went for gynae Aunty Wan. She diagnosed me with adenomyosis. You were there beside me. Hugged me. Your words comforted me in a way I changed my mentality immediately to have a baby. Maybe it was because of your doa untuk lembutkan hati I so that my mental ready to have a baby. You tak give up when I down a lil bit. Hence I semangat nak baik. I jaga makan and tak minum air manis sejak onboard. May Allah bless us with kid next year. Umi and Daddy, right? :P
Abang, thank you for being a good husbando to me. A kind and loving husbando. Never ever you raise your voice towards me even before kahwin pun. You and your soft spoken character. Always catch my heart. You know youre my idol? The one that I always look up as example. The one that always apologize first despite me being a stubborn wife. After all the trauma you had faced, you deserves all the kindness and happiness. Thus, I promise myself to always pampering you.
Abang, thank you for accepting me as your wife. Thank you for being my comfort zone and safest place. Being your wife is the most proudest moment in my life. We are two people from being you & me become us that choose to forgive each other each time we have a conflict and still choose each other everyday. Fair winds and following sea cinta. See your for the next 4 months. Home will not feels home anymore when you are away. I know it's gonna be tough without you but we got this kan Abang.
Iloveyou Abang. Going to miss my husbando
Your wife
Tangga Barat Platform
18 Nov 2025 - 1:50am
